Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
