You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I'm just crazy horny about you
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
