I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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