When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
