but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
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