It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Randomize