I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
