physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
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I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
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I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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