We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
