Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
