drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
