On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
