Texts From Last Night

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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?

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  (413): I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person? http://tfl.nu/zgr7
  Replies (90) Good night (1435) Bad night (3518) Order T-Shirt
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.

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  (603): turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops. http://tfl.nu/vdzv
  Replies (20) Good night (858) Bad night (5628) Order T-Shirt
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up

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  (330): Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up http://tfl.nu/ip0y
  Replies (13) Good night (591) Bad night (2975) Order T-Shirt
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".

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  (630): You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking". http://tfl.nu/tuao
  Replies (9) Good night (5691) Bad night (671) Order T-Shirt
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.

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  (910): It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me. http://tfl.nu/w40e
  Replies (34) Good night (1398) Bad night (4323) Order T-Shirt
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.

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  (405): You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow. http://tfl.nu/0l2h
  Replies (6) Good night (3621) Bad night (733) Order T-Shirt
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...

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  (651): Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying... http://tfl.nu/qpg3
  Replies (9) Good night (3051) Bad night (797) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys

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  (512): I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys http://tfl.nu/o25e
  Replies (10) Good night (2045) Bad night (793) Order T-Shirt
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"

  (1-919): View more from North Carolina

  "bouncy castle"

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  (919): what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl" (1-919): "bouncy castle" http://tfl.nu/3vde
  Replies (6) Good night (3890) Bad night (738) Order T-Shirt
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  (917): View more from New York City

  What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.

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  (917): What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered. http://tfl.nu/ygdr
  Replies (7) Good night (1553) Bad night (612) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.

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  (303): I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen. http://tfl.nu/li1t
  Replies (4) Good night (1854) Bad night (428)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last

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  (410): i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last http://tfl.nu/j9db
  Replies (21) Good night (626) Bad night (3592) Order T-Shirt
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert

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  (302): It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert http://tfl.nu/8dr2
  Replies (12) Good night (411) Bad night (953) Order T-Shirt
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now

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  (423): So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now http://tfl.nu/44f0
  Replies (13) Good night (382) Bad night (1010) Order T-Shirt
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either

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  (908): Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either http://tfl.nu/pvlp
  Replies (2) Good night (627) Bad night (230) Order T-Shirt

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