Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
These 23 Kids Have The Most Overbearing Parents Imaginable
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles