Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
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The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.