I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
operation have a gay friend backfired
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season