I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
do you believe in love at first sight?
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?