i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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