This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
