She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize