wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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