it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
