Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
