so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
