Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
