sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
