Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
