were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Randomize