I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
