You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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