Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
