ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
