I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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