coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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