Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Randomize
