here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
