I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
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