He kissed a someone with a penis
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
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