I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
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