I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
