Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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