At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
