I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
