he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
