like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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