what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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