and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
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i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
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No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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