She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
