If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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