So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
You pole danced in your parka.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
