someone threw a dead crab at me
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize