Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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