is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
