Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
