they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
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