I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
