On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
