is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Randomize