we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
