You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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